The trouble with writing... (and other twattishness)

I sit down in front of the screen or the page and suddenly... nothing to write. It's all well and good casually dropping 'It's all good material for the novel' in after every anecdote but what if, really, there is nothing to say? This is why I'm blogging. In an attempt to write casually, to keep typing and maybe, once every 500 pages, sneak up on something that's worth noting down. Otherwise, I shall spend the next ten years staring at a piece of paper trying to come up with a golden nugget of wisdom or inspiration and instead doodling ying-yangs and swirls like I always do.

As this is the FIRST BLOG EVER (insert excited exclamation marks here) I'm a little low on inspiration. However, I'm always up on snarky, bitchy social commentary and had to pop this titbit in...

There's a facebook friend of mine (not REAL friend I hasten to add) who runs a socialite website over here in HK and who recently has taken to updating her FB status with 'I'm having a party at my place tonight, my real friends know the address, come on over!'. Pretentious, toi? What are the rest of us, the 1000 or so Facebook friends she has made to promote her business supposed to think? Oh no, we're not exclusive enough to make the party guest list? Does she gleefully expect that 1000 people who pressed the 'add friend' button once because they vaguely recalled her at a Ladies' Night in Wan Chai will now reach for the nearest blunt object and beat themselves senseless to block out the pain?

And why advertise it on Facebook if you know who you're inviting? Presumably you have your real friends' phone numbers, yes? Unless of course you want to put out a press release on how fabulous your life is. Of course, I only have myself to blame for adding this doofus as a friend. But in my defence I wail 'I did it for the Vixens!' Well now I'm no longer Vixens' Mamasan I can have me a nice lil' Facebook bonfire...

Ah, all this bitching about the schmoozers of HK has cheered me up slightly as I was feeling very sad about leaving. But it's nice to dwell on one thing I definitely won't miss. Hong Kong has this crazy small town/big city collision and that combined with occasionally appearing in magazines, having people recognise you on the MTR or being let into clubs because you know people (I couldn’t resist putting this in as ALL of these have happened to me actually, ha ha, but that’s just HK oddity for you, it’d never happen to me back in the UK!) conspires to make anyone with an ego think they're Victoria Beckham. A (real) friend has an acquaintance who once actually said "I have all the friends I need and our group is very exclusive''. Yeah, exclusively twatty. And that is what happens if you're over here too long.

But of course, the irony is setting up a blog (and previously having done my columns) is behaving a teeny bit like an egomaniac myself. Please take me out and shoot me if I develop any signs of advanced schmoozitis. (Latin: Schmoozitis Twattius. Symptoms include needing a designer handbag, obsessively updating your Twitter account and repeating ad infinitum how Lady GaGa borrowed a tampon off on you in the toilets at Dragon-i)
In other, real life news: Today I have been mostly listening to 'Oldster by Xilin River' by Sa Dingding, which I highly recommend. I also came across this Byron quote 'I am ashes where I once was fire' which is a very beautiful way of saying 'WTF did I see in that pillock?!!' don't you think?

Until the next one xxx:o)!