Well, hello world! I’m back in you it would seem. What with my new job(s) and courses and shit. No longer am I sitting on my ass feeling left out of everything. Here’s a sneaky update...
So, I have a job on the catering team at a dinky hospital in London. A friend’s dad basically got me the job and it’s only till the end of April (which I’m quite glad about as it’s KILLING me!). The catering team apparently have a lot of holidays that need covering and I’m the one that’s covering them. I’m serving in the hospital cafeteria (simple!), doing the ward round for the fourth floor (complicated!) and this week, oh joy of joys, I shall be training on the 2nd floor big wards and ICU. Just when I thought ‘I can handle this, I can get the 4th floor ward round DOWN’ they are bloody training me on the most complicated thing! Everyone warned me about 2nd floor when I started, wincing sceptically as they saw me manhandling the massive food trolleys ‘Just make sure they don’t train you on second floor’ they hissed, sucking air in through their teeth ‘Oooh, you don’t want to do second floor’. WAAAAAGH! Basically, if I wasn’t there they’d be getting an agency member of staff in so I am there to get basic training, keep them under budget and hopefully not kill any patients. PLEASE DON’T LET ME KILL ANY PATIENTS!!!!
I actually enjoy the work when I’m there, even though it’s quite hard going and I’m having to wake up at 5.30am which as you know, to a snoozy lazybones like me is torture! I’m very slow on my ward rounds as I’ve not got my pace up yet but also because I stop to have a gossip with the patients. And of course I have my favourites. There are two who are exactly like Catherine Tate as Nana; one who was discharged last week whose daughter used to bring her in pie and mash (Kelly Ryan, I’ve seen your future) and another who told me ‘I’ll bring the tray out to the trolley luv, otherwise you’ll be in and out like a fart in a colander. Oooh, I’m a saucy cow, me!” She’s my absolute favourite, I always smuggle her more cake! She’s in for a heart valve op tomorrow and another favourite patient, who’s from Garryowen in Limerick, just like my dad, is in for an op to remove tumours on his lungs. I don’t know how the doctors and nurses, let alone the patients do it. Sometimes I feel like crying into the chicken and leek mornay and I have such minimal involvement with them. But what good does that do? Nothing. There’s no point being an oversensitive wuss and getting upset as though I have any right to when I barely know anyone there. The best thing I can do is be smiley, cheery and smuggle extra cake and biscuits to those who need it (although I would probably get the sack for that so maybe I should keep quiet!)
I do just have to add that I love doing the thrice-daily tea rounds and have been much complemented on my tea-making skills. As my mum says, ‘Ooooh Mel, you make a lovely cup!’ and as we British know, nothing soothes in times of crisis like tea!
So, IN OTHER NEWS: I have a second job! One that will hopefully continue after my first job finishes in April. As of March 6th, I will be training to be a tour guide at my old home, the Globe! As you may know, I have been a little dithery about going back to the Globe, just because it is like going back home and as I don’t expect to live with my mother for another 10 years I don’t think sheltering in the cosiness of the Globe till I’m about 40 would be a good plan, especially for a gal who’s one thing in life is going to new places and doing new things. BUT guiding is flexible (you put in the dates you want to do each month) so it can fit around my current job, plus any interning/volunteering /courses I may need to do for my MA. Yes, the MA plan is back in the loop and if I’ve got to be in the country for the next couple of years to apply for it, why not spend those years in the comforting bosom of la Globule? The only thing is I have to memorise all the stuff for a tour and train and gaaaaaagh! I’m a little terrified!
On top of the jobs, I’m doing two evening classes; Intro to freelance journalism, which I’m halfway through and Social Psychology which starts tomorrow. Ah, how I love to keep my brain going! And I’ve booked my trip to Hong Kong- yay! So that takes me up to mid-May, after that, who knows? I am attempting to do a year plan, as a blog I’m following suggests
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/how-to-conduct-your-own-annual-review/ but I hate spreadsheets and anyway, who has the time?!
Finally, I had thought recently how I might like to get me one of those boyfriend things but instead I’ve developed an obsession with Mitchell off Being Human. Fantasy boyfriends do have the disadvantage of, y’know, not being real, but then they don’t talk back, don’t lie and cheat and they fit very convineintly round a busy schedule.
Maybe after May? Line me up some cute guys...
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